Family Duties

I completed the Family Duties chart while referencing my own familial experience ( I am married with 2 small kiddos). And all I can say is, "Wow. I DO work really hard!"

I have spent the last year or so of my life, and more so recently, really thinking that perhaps I was unjustly feeling overwhelmed with all the mundane tasks that I must complete daily. Pretty much all the "childcare" falls on my shoulders, as well as housework, laundry, meals, appointments and errands, plus my own schooling on top of everything. However, I try not complain about these things because a) my husband works long hours himself, albeit outside the home, b) I myself do not have a job outside the home, so therefore since I am here, I should be the one responsible for getting these things done, and c) it was my choice to stay at home with my kids instead of working, so therefore that choice goes hand in hand with the assuming of these responsibilities.

For some reason, though, looking at the results of the chart really puts my "job" into perspective. I do a lot of work!! and much like we have learned in the textbook, most of the work my husband does in our household involves chores that grant him lots of freedom as to when they need to be completed. He does most of the "man's work" (when he's home and not deployed, in which case the whole chart would need to be re-written with me as the sole contestant), and I take care of the domestic duties. I was also surprised to see such "chores" like birthday shopping and vacation planning on the list (as Ms. Lerner mentioned in the podcast). I never really considered them to be "duties", but now looking back it is obvious that if they were things that needed attention, it was probably me who had to make the time to attend to them!

I am not complaining about the work I have to do, but admittedly it does get difficult and overwhelming at times to have such a large responsibility on my shoulders. The situation does work well for us though, and even though on paper perhaps the division seems unfair, it is the way our family has chosen to handle these duties. And I also realize that in time, these roles will shift again once I return to the workforce, or when the kids are old enough to go to school, or when my husband retires...